I would like you to meet Chopsticks.

I realize that some people have not actually met Chopsticks and, as he is frequently referenced, I need to introduce him. This is a tough introduction to make, as I am not even sure where to start so as to do his awesomeness justice. I received Chopsticks, a stuffed panda bear, during the summer of '07. He has sentimental value, but that isn't really entertaining to hear about. Since his obtainment, it has become enjoyable to make him do funny things and take hilariously posed pictures. I know what you are thinking....what a clever name - Chopsticks - since pandas are from China. Unfortunately, I cannot take credit as that is the name imprinted on his bum tag.

I think this story sums up Chops and my relationship the best. I got my sparkling new Mini Cooper around the same time as I received Chopsticks. Soon after, I took my car on its first long drive to a horse show in Culpeper, VA. I strapped Chopsticks into the passenger seat, texted a picture to my friends that I was "on my way!" and off I drove. Once in Culpeper, however, I got a little speed happy with my new car and was pulled over (for my first time ever). After lecturing me and assessing my situation, the cop let me go. What situation was he assessing, you ask? Well here I am, driving my Mini with (I quite clearly remember) "All the Way Around" by Ali Lohan blasting from my speakers. I had my Vera Bradley bag with bees on it in the back, and I can only imagine what I was wearing, though I'm sure it resembled the outfit of a twelve year old (who doesn't change into comfy driving clothes?). And, oh yeah, there was a stuffed panda buckled into my passenger seat. How nice of the officer to let the special girl off with just a warning and a lecture.

Since then, Chopsticks has become a bit of a staple in my life and has developed quite the personality. He has come to almost every horse show unless it requires me to fly (he is chubby and takes up too much space). I usually leave him tucked in at the hotel during the day and look forward to seeing what the cleaning crew does with him once they make the bed. One time we came back to find that the little creeper had snuck over into Elise's bed. The other day on the way back from a show he leaned out the window and waved to pedestrians. No one returned the wave but a taxi driver did pull up next to us to tell us that he looked real. And after he waived his fanny at Elise one too many times, we joked that we are going to put him in denim diapers (how funny would that be?).

A little disclaimer. Since I've been little, I've had an odd tendency to believe that my stuffed animals have feelings. Its not that I really think they have feelings...its more that I feel bad if I do things that might offend them in case they do. Like, if they fall on the floor during the night, I feel guilty. And I always have more than one on my bed so that they can keep each other company. If I wake up snuggling Chops and he is upside down with his bum in my face...I feel all weird and quickly flip him over. Or if he's trapped under the covers...he could suffer from imaginary suffication! I have the imagination of a five year old despite entering what most would refer to as adulthood. That probably explains why Chops and I so quickly became bffs.

 Some fun facts about Chopsticks:

• When the little guy waves you cannot help but laugh.  
• Chopsticks is not to be referred to as a "doll" (Jennifer, that is directed at you).
• Chopsticks has a little stuffed animal horse named Otis.
• Lion hates him. But to be fair, Lion hates his stuffed squirrel, too.
• His right arm is limp from waving so much.
• His bum is filled with beans. It makes a silly sound when he shakes it.
• He is the perfect size for snuggling/being the little spoon. He is also the perfect size for being the big spoon to a smaller stuffed animal and, thus, forming a "snuggle chain" or a more reckless "snuggle pile".
• One time Elise's dog Zeus stole Chopsticks and took him for a ride in his mouth.
• He frequently has to take dryer rides to freshen up after spending a lot of time in my car and suitcase.
• Once Elise and I had to be at two horse shows in one day. During this time, we were both sick and it would not stop raining. Chops helped us drive from Devon to Upperville and managed to be the only item of mine that did not get muddy (picture from that day below).
• Chopsticks came to Vegas. He made it rain (he didn't actually, but I wish he had). He was also thrown upon the floor when the nightcrew came in to turn down our beds. That was the worst treatment he has ever received at a sleeping establishment.
• He has a crush on Pearl (pictured below and belonging to Becky).
• Chopsticks was sad when Becky and Pearl moved to London (they are back now, YAY!)